here we go for the 100th time, going out of my fkn mind .. 

​I lie here in what feels like a million miles away. It’s cold and even though I am surrounded by love I am lonely. They say that time heals all wounds … but iI’m done waiting. We spend our lives waiting, waitig for something to happen, that one big thing – reborn into what- rediscovering the person you thought you were when you were 27 – trying to relive replay outwit and outsmart our minds. Trying not to focus on the shit we get sucked into. lives collide some snatch parts of us and peel away the scares only to … Continue reading here we go for the 100th time, going out of my fkn mind .. 

Sometimes darkness can be chased… All we need is a deep sense of adventure… 

I’m so tiered of hearing the words  “let it go”   What if i want to hold onto it and never ever let it go? What if i know, I’ll never ever feel the same I do right now ever again in my entire life. What if letting go meant giving up, surrendering your desire for what your heart beats for? The very core of where the most intense feelings grow from?  You can find a new way of letting the light back into your life. A New way of life.  What do you do when another person makes you … Continue reading Sometimes darkness can be chased… All we need is a deep sense of adventure… 

today is the first day of the rest of your life..

So here is the thing about love, life and all things after relationships end…. No matter how hard you try it’s gonna be messy it’s gonna be hard it’s gonna be different… If you are lucky you find someone who’s demons and angles play well with yours… If you are not.. Well then this shit happens.  You lose yourself. You lose your identity. You lose the parts of you you were putting back together after the last demolition war took place in your heart, just when you thought that all the pieces you lost during the first part of your … Continue reading today is the first day of the rest of your life..

before this ….. after this… during this, surviving this…

🌿starting to show…. yesterday today tomorrow fade away like frozen photographs rememer forgrt the mistakes the ways you take the ways you make the moments pass tell a beuatiful lie in the blink of an eye everyhing left you changed its a beautiful lie if you think that every thing will stay the same …  Where the streets have clouds. Where the roads lead to happiness. Where the people walk to get someplace that makes them smile. Where cars go by to get somewhere for the first time. Make every day count. Do that one thing you’ve been wanting to … Continue reading before this ….. after this… during this, surviving this…

here she writes …

always messy always mind …  elusive rabit holes intwined in the depth of my mind. here she writes.  I look back over some of my posts and I actually feel like I’m reading words written by someone else. Someone strong.  Someone brave. Someone relentless in their pursuit of a happy life.  The last few weeks have been filled with more of everything I’ve ever experianced. my mind is afraid of the road ahead.  it’s.just.al ….. it’s never been it’s.just.al though …. it’s been it’s.just.al and her cool kids. #alscoolkids MOM first. me later.  God first. Mom. then Al…  Al chasinglight … Continue reading here she writes …